Wednesday, December 18, 2013

10 months postpartum. My final weight loss update

I've been dragging my feet on writing this post because I have mixed feelings about it.

I don't normally take selfies.
My current weight is 122 pounds  I've been at this weight for almost two months with a one pound over or under fluctuation.

My goal weight was 120 and when I started getting close to 120 a little voice in my head said "lets aim for 115". 

In my head I would like to get down to 115 but, I don't want to have to resort to things like diet pills, skipping meals, or just not eating to get down to this magical number.

I've always been what you consider "top heavy" I gain weight in my waist and midsection first and it is the last place I lose it from.  I also came into my adult body pretty early. I was about 14 years old when I went on my first diet.  I was in the eighth grade and I was 116 pounds.   I got down to 112 before I started high school and by the time I was a senior in high school my weight was around 122 .

I used to have serious complex about my height (5 feet even) and weight.  Most short women I knew were petite and small framed and weighed 95lbs.  I always felt stocky and chubby.  I thought that maybe I was doing something wrong.

When I was 18 I enlisted into the US ARMY and I had to have my body fat measured because I did not meet the height and weight standards. I weighed 123 and I was so embarrassed.  I  had  two months before I left for boot camp and the weight standard for my height was 120.  I managed to  diet down to 116 so I wouldn't have to have my body fat measured.

Throughout my 20's and early 30's my weight bounced between 116-124.  Any time my weight went above 124 I would begin to panic a little bit and I would restrict a bit in order to get down to where I needed to be.

I'm not exactly sure when I had my "aha" moment.  But, a lot of different things contributed to me accepting that there are some things that I just won't be able to change about my body. The first one is pretty obvious, I'm always going to be 5 feet tall.  The second thing that I can't change is my body frame.  I actually have what you would consider a "large frame".   Even though I have small hips, my wrists and rib cage measure much larger than someone with a small bone structure.  I found a chart where I finally had proof that I'm not really small boned.  This helped me not be so obsessed about a goal weight that's not really attainable.

Female Wrist Measurements

Height less than 5' 2"
(Less than 155cms)
Height 5' 2" - 5' 5"
(155cms - 163cms)
Height more than 5' 5"
(More than 163cms)
Less than 5.5"
Less than 6.0"
Less than 6.25"
5.5" - 5.75"
(140 - 146mm)
6" - 6.25"
(152 - 159mms)
6.25" - 6.5"
(159 - 165mm)
More than 5.75"
More than 6.25"
More than 6.5"

I'm quite happy with how I look and feel.  My body isn't perfect. But, it's mine and I can either love it or hate it. I choose to love my body and all the things it can do for me, even though I will never have the elasticity back in my skin that I had when I was in my twenties. 

When I say that I love my body, please don't take it to mean that I am so happy and satisfied with how I look and I'm perfect, blah, blah, blah,  or that I'm tiger that earned her stripes.  I'd like to think of it more as of  I'm so grateful that I was able to use this body to create two children and nurse them. I also use this body to run miles that make me feel invincible.

I think having the mentality of hating your body is pretty self indulgent.  If I'm mopey about not having a thigh gap or if my jeans are tight, how fair is that to the people that are around me?  Having a bad day is one thing, but when you constantly beat yourself up that becomes the standard.

If you have read my blog from the beginning you will know that I was still trying to lose the baby weight from my first pregnancy.  I had plenty of I hate my body days.  I think I was really overwhelmed with being a new mom.  I found comfort in food and in alcohol.

I think I am in a much better place now that I have given up alcohol completely.  I'm currently just trying to maintain my weight loss through the holidays. I still track my food points and I weigh in with a friend once a week for accountability.

Starting Weight: 150lbs
Current Weight: 122lbs.

I'm done talking about weight loss. Let's talk about running!!!

I'm racing a half marathon this weekend. I'm looking forward to it. It's going to be a much smaller race than I ran in October and with all of the holiday hustle and bustle I haven't had any time to freak out about it. Normally I am bouncing off of the walls from the taper.

The course is also way harder this time around.  Check out the elevation profile:

I am a pretty decent hill runner and I hope I can use this to my advantage.  My goal is to run a smart race and to hold back during the first half.  The second half of the race is mostly uphill with two miles of downhill to the finish.  I really hope I can go under 1:40 and I would also like to place in the top 3 women overall.  

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